Sharon is moving into the transitional living facility next week. She is actually excited!
She spent last weekend with the girls that already live on-site and they had a blast. Of course, me (being voice of reason) said that I was so glad they had a nice visit, but then reminded her that, with the fun, her main goal is to develop her independent living skills. Of course, she agreed...but I am not quite sure how much she meant she agreed and how much she was agreeing because she knew that is what I wanted to hear.
Either way, we have tried to cover all angles in this transitional living situation. One of my biggest questions was related to renter's insurance. Does she need it?
The short answer was -- "you are the first person to ask that." The final answer was -- "it's up to you." Hmmm, okay. I know the rest of the house doesn't have it, but does that mean it is okay for us not to? It's not that there are a lot of valuables (trust me, there aren't), but it seems like a smart thing to check into. Can't hurt to get a quote at least.
Monthly Rent and What is Covered
Sharon has to pay rent each month to pay for her living space, utilities, etc. She is going to eventually be sharing her room so what is really being covered? Well, 1/2 a room to sleep in (we are providing furniture), utilities (electric, gas, water and garbage), living space for awake time (living room, dining, laundry facilities in the townhome, etc), some food (they do use the food bank and pantries, but some food the girls are responsible for in addition to buying things like paper products, dish soaps, etc). There is also a bike she could use as well as a computer and entertainment system.
Sharon is also provided a caseworker (who will help her with Dr. appointments, managing her time, budget, etc), there is a nurse that visits every couple of weeks and there is a program manager on-site who she can interact with as well.
What Is Not Covered
Sharon is responsible for buying all of her own personal products (soap, shampoos, feminine hygiene products, clothing, etc). This is very reasonable. She is also responsible for paying for her own entertainment and bus fare to work or activities. I mentioned before we are bringing in her own bedroom furniture and she is responsible for some food and community products. She is also responsible for any additional life skill building programming (we have hired Life Skills Unlimited to work on Sharon's money skills).
Overall, we think this is a really great deal!
I think the biggest thing in getting this to work has been to be organized throughout this process. The overriding words I have been hearing so far are: "you are so organized" or "most people aren't ready to go and so the process takes longer."
I have to say, I didn't feel overly organized, but our schedules are so jammed that I had to have my crap together or we were going to sink from the get-go.
Another thought: have your spouse write questions about the process and facility, and I had Sharon write too. Question, question, question. I admit that I was surprised by the lack of answers to some of the questions, but at the same time I needed to remember that, to some extent, we are a pilot in this effort. I was surprised by the good thoughts that Sharon had to present to the caseworker and program coordinator. Her thoughts were in the form of single words in this case, but she got her point across and it was a good start for her in communication of her needs and questions to needs.
Advocating for herself...that is one of the goals she is working on. That's a tough one when you are 44 and haven't been given the chance to even decide on going to the bathroom on your own. But Sharon being her own advocate is totally do-able.
Our last step, aside from the actual move, is finishing off the medical requirements needed in order to be considered complete. In Sharon's case, she needed to have an updated tetanus shot, a 2-step TB test and the vision screening (all things that could be done with a nurse visit at my doctor's office - thankfully).
Packing on the agenda for the holiday weekend. Joyous packing.
June 30, 2010
June 22, 2010
Visiting the Transitional Living Site
Sharon and I went for a visit to the transitional living site last week. It was a long time coming considering we had to reschedule a few times (not necessarily the fault of Pioneer Center...things just weren't working out).
So we sat with Sharon's new caseworker and we sat with the coordinator of the program. It was a very informal meeting with the purpose of going over the extreme basics of what will be expected (as much as they know at this time considering Sharon is sort of a pilot in funding for this portion of transitional living) and deciding on some independent living skills programming that should be employed while she is under their wing.
We turned in some paperwork and headed out into the downpour (it was a crazy hard rain that miraculously abated upon our arrival to the site :)
Sharon was able to meet the other two residents, the program manager (who visits the townhome fairly frequently) and the nurse happened to be there as well. It was great!
Sharon was quite excited to see that her bedroom, which will be shared with one other woman, is the size of the bedroom she presently shares with our daughter. That's good news! Also, the other woman has not officially said yes to the program yet..so Sharon may have some time that she will have the room to herself. This will be pretty awesome too.
Tomorrow Sharon is taking the bus to the home and is spending the afternoon there as well as having dinner with the residents and the program manager. I am very excited for her and am glad to see the smile in her eyes when she thinks of the upcoming change. We were a little worried that she would find herself not as excited, but she really was. The funny thing is that she is most excited about the fact that it has three levels (basement, main and upper). Too funny.
If all goes well with the visit tomorrow, Sharon will be spending a weekend on-site and then we will be able to schedule her transition into the home. We are hoping for a transition in the next three weeks...hopefully Pioneer is close to the same thoughts.
Bon Appetit, Sharon!
So we sat with Sharon's new caseworker and we sat with the coordinator of the program. It was a very informal meeting with the purpose of going over the extreme basics of what will be expected (as much as they know at this time considering Sharon is sort of a pilot in funding for this portion of transitional living) and deciding on some independent living skills programming that should be employed while she is under their wing.
We turned in some paperwork and headed out into the downpour (it was a crazy hard rain that miraculously abated upon our arrival to the site :)
Sharon was able to meet the other two residents, the program manager (who visits the townhome fairly frequently) and the nurse happened to be there as well. It was great!
Sharon was quite excited to see that her bedroom, which will be shared with one other woman, is the size of the bedroom she presently shares with our daughter. That's good news! Also, the other woman has not officially said yes to the program yet..so Sharon may have some time that she will have the room to herself. This will be pretty awesome too.
Tomorrow Sharon is taking the bus to the home and is spending the afternoon there as well as having dinner with the residents and the program manager. I am very excited for her and am glad to see the smile in her eyes when she thinks of the upcoming change. We were a little worried that she would find herself not as excited, but she really was. The funny thing is that she is most excited about the fact that it has three levels (basement, main and upper). Too funny.
If all goes well with the visit tomorrow, Sharon will be spending a weekend on-site and then we will be able to schedule her transition into the home. We are hoping for a transition in the next three weeks...hopefully Pioneer is close to the same thoughts.
Bon Appetit, Sharon!
June 7, 2010
Transitional Living!!!
Da-Da-Daaaa (sound of fanfair trumpeting)
Sharon has been accepting into Transitional Living through Pioneer Center. Yeah!
I believe I wrote about the web of potentials (and non-potentials) related to Sharon and living circumstances. Essentially, what we were told about a month ago was that her chance of getting any aid to be on her own - aside from Social Security - was nil, nothing, nada.
At the meeting, I shared we would be very interested in being a pilot project. We would be interested in any situation that would enable the potential for aid and for Sharon's independence.
Two reasons for my assertiveness: 1) I needed to be the squeaky wheel; 2) Sharon needs to be out on her own.
Because we had been resigned to the thought that Sharon would need to head out on her own and live independently in all essence of the word, she was a bit fearful of the possibilities. She hasn't been out of line in her apprehensiveness, she has been sheltered for so long...who wouldn't be apprehensive? Her two main contentions: loneliness and what if she has a seizure?
Loneliness. We assured her we would always be around. Even if we end up moving up north to Wisconsin for my job we would in some way be around. Also, as long as she can fit it into her budget, she will still have the opportunity to do her NISRA programs and be with the people that she has started to get to know through those programs. And, being in an apartment alone likely would be way better than living in our small house with our cramped quarters and a screamy five-year old (yes, only dogs can hear her at times). Her own rules, her own television, her own music, her own room. The opportunities are endless.
Seizures. She hasn't had a seizure in nearly four years. Convincing her that no matter where she is there is a chance that there would not be another person around IF she had a seizure has been fruitless. At this point, it is a big if. But one can certainly understand the reasonings behind this particular apprehension. I think many of us have had a moment of wondering what would happen if injured and no one else is around (it's not really like the tree though...the tree might not make the sound, but I am pretty sure we would still be injured :)
We have attempted to have two meetings related to the transitional living situation. Both unintentionally thwarted by Sharon's work situation (no really, it's true...it hasn't been her fault). So, we embark on another attempt next week to go over the details as well as visit the site.
Exciting!!
Sharon is much less apprehensive about living with three other girls, but I wouldn't be a good teacher if I didn't share with her the potential flip-side to the coin...
Sharon, what if: your roommate likes to sleep with a nightlight? (Sharon did not like light or noise in the room when she moved in - yeah, good luck with that and a five year old is what we told her since she was sharing a room with one in our house);
And, what if: the roommate doesn't like Sharon's snoring?
What will you do if the girls all have specific shows they like to watch on television and you don't like them or if you don't have anything in common with them?
There are so many potentials.
At the same time, we acknowledge that there is great potential for Sharon to know one or two of the girls from her NISRA programs; that they will all enjoy each others company and will help each other; that they have a great chance of learning alot and moving on to independence.
Sharon has had a lot of changes in her life in these last eight months. Just think of what is coming to round out her first year in Illinois.
I know this thought should make me more patient with her, but it doesn't.
When you live with someone and you see what she can and cannot do...you get jaded and have certain expectations. Sometimes the expectations are realistic, sometimes they are not. I have never professed to be perfect...and am pretty sure I won't achieve perfection...but I know what Sharon can do and I will rejoice as I see her open up to those possibilities as her barriers continue to be removed.
Sharon has been accepting into Transitional Living through Pioneer Center. Yeah!
I believe I wrote about the web of potentials (and non-potentials) related to Sharon and living circumstances. Essentially, what we were told about a month ago was that her chance of getting any aid to be on her own - aside from Social Security - was nil, nothing, nada.
At the meeting, I shared we would be very interested in being a pilot project. We would be interested in any situation that would enable the potential for aid and for Sharon's independence.
Two reasons for my assertiveness: 1) I needed to be the squeaky wheel; 2) Sharon needs to be out on her own.
Because we had been resigned to the thought that Sharon would need to head out on her own and live independently in all essence of the word, she was a bit fearful of the possibilities. She hasn't been out of line in her apprehensiveness, she has been sheltered for so long...who wouldn't be apprehensive? Her two main contentions: loneliness and what if she has a seizure?
Loneliness. We assured her we would always be around. Even if we end up moving up north to Wisconsin for my job we would in some way be around. Also, as long as she can fit it into her budget, she will still have the opportunity to do her NISRA programs and be with the people that she has started to get to know through those programs. And, being in an apartment alone likely would be way better than living in our small house with our cramped quarters and a screamy five-year old (yes, only dogs can hear her at times). Her own rules, her own television, her own music, her own room. The opportunities are endless.
Seizures. She hasn't had a seizure in nearly four years. Convincing her that no matter where she is there is a chance that there would not be another person around IF she had a seizure has been fruitless. At this point, it is a big if. But one can certainly understand the reasonings behind this particular apprehension. I think many of us have had a moment of wondering what would happen if injured and no one else is around (it's not really like the tree though...the tree might not make the sound, but I am pretty sure we would still be injured :)
We have attempted to have two meetings related to the transitional living situation. Both unintentionally thwarted by Sharon's work situation (no really, it's true...it hasn't been her fault). So, we embark on another attempt next week to go over the details as well as visit the site.
Exciting!!
Sharon is much less apprehensive about living with three other girls, but I wouldn't be a good teacher if I didn't share with her the potential flip-side to the coin...
Sharon, what if: your roommate likes to sleep with a nightlight? (Sharon did not like light or noise in the room when she moved in - yeah, good luck with that and a five year old is what we told her since she was sharing a room with one in our house);
And, what if: the roommate doesn't like Sharon's snoring?
What will you do if the girls all have specific shows they like to watch on television and you don't like them or if you don't have anything in common with them?
There are so many potentials.
At the same time, we acknowledge that there is great potential for Sharon to know one or two of the girls from her NISRA programs; that they will all enjoy each others company and will help each other; that they have a great chance of learning alot and moving on to independence.
Sharon has had a lot of changes in her life in these last eight months. Just think of what is coming to round out her first year in Illinois.
I know this thought should make me more patient with her, but it doesn't.
When you live with someone and you see what she can and cannot do...you get jaded and have certain expectations. Sometimes the expectations are realistic, sometimes they are not. I have never professed to be perfect...and am pretty sure I won't achieve perfection...but I know what Sharon can do and I will rejoice as I see her open up to those possibilities as her barriers continue to be removed.
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