Kinks in the Road

We've experienced some kinks in the road during this initial three weeks that Sharon has been in transitional living. Overall it is a wonderful experience for her. She has great roommates and a great program manager (who comes to the house Monday through Friday for a full day each day). Sharon visits with her caseworker a few times a week and every couple of weeks she sees the nurse.

The kinks: 1) I think that Pioneer is used to parents not being interested in continuing care for their child so they are left to take over 100% of the transition. Not so with us and we have found that decisions are being made that not only are we not informed about, but when we find out what decisions have been made, we are not happy campers. 2) Sharon seems to think that now that she is on her own, she does not have to report to her brother; her brother is still her legal guardian and there is no question that he is the final say. 3) The exercise prediction has come true; Sharon, the very next day was already displaying issues with her ankle and, we found out later, took advice from the nurse (which was counter to what our doctor had told her to do) and so Sharon decided to only follow the nurse's advice...her advice? Wrap the ankle in an elastic bandage and let's see. Needless to say...we were furious! Furious at the nurse because she took it upon herself to make the decision without checking with us first and furious with Sharon even moreso because she was looking for the easy way out. 4) Money. Sharon has no concept of budget at this point and this house seems to like to go out for meals as well as go out to shop. We are having Sharon track her money and she is at the point of, "well, if you run out, you run out."

I do have to say that I am having an interesting view of social services as it relates to food at the moment. There is more damn food in that house than I think I have had in my house in a year. No. I am NOT kidding. I think that this is a misleading factor for people who are in transitional living. Possibly sounding harsh here (okay, knowing I am), but it seems to me that they should experience a little of the struggles to put food on the table because that is what their real world may end up like. But they have the ability to take advantage of the Food Pantry (okay, I realize I technically do too, but I don't believe we are so hard up that we need to take away from those that are more in need than we), they take advantage of the food bank and the girls have subsidy as well.

Sharon lost her job last week. The store she was working for downsized staff for the season and now she is no longer employed. She gets enough SS to make it through her rent and then a little, but there are going to be times that things are tight.

Last challenge...we are moving. I accepted a job in Wisconsin which I started last week and, God willing, my husband will get offered a job next week and they will be up here in the next three weeks. How do we work the Guardianship from a distance? We aren't completely sure just yet. We know at some point that we will do just Power of Attorney or something of the like, but for now we want to keep the control until things level out...

Perhaps one of you have experienced distant Guardianship?

And...Break!

Sharon moved into the transitional living facility this week. We haven't done any dancing in our tiny house, but we feel a little bit of breathing room to say the least.

Never heard from Pioneer Center to confirm the move in time, but the program manager for the house told us to go for it since we had scheduled a date (just didn't have a time). So, off we went early in the morning to make sure that we didn't have to move in the oppressing heat.

Amazing how much crap one person can have. I'm honestly not sure what Sharon is going to do with all of her junk once she ends up having a roommate at the transitional living facility (when this happens, she will be sharing her room...the other two girls have their own rooms). And, not that I don't need the exercise, but between my husband and his bum knees and Sharon and, well....I basically did all of the lugging out of the vehicles into the house and then up the stairs.

We got Sharon's bed set up, but we left the unpacking to her (and one of the other girls was there willing to help).

My husband and I went to the bank and the store and, by the time we got home (about 45 minutes from the time we had left the house) Sharon was calling to say that she was missing her quilted mattress pad. Not a small item.

I asked Sharon if she had unpacked everything. She said she had unpacked most everything and she couldn't find it so she was sure that it must be missing...and the thing is, the roommate was feeding her the words to say to me.

Where did we go wrong?

Sharon, I said, I walked through the whole house before we left and I know that there was nothing left here before we went to unpack. I assured her that if she finished unpacking she would find her quilted mattress pad. If she didn't find it, she should call us back. We didn't get a call back, of course.

So, Sharon and one of the girls got her set up and the program manager checked the room to make sure that the layout was okay...and made some suggestions to Sharon for a better way to organize her closet, etc.

Sharon had a great first day and night.

I picked her up for the dr. the next day. We had a nice talk. That was a nice change of pace. I am looking forward to having a nice relationship with her again. I was pretty tense toward her the last few months because she seemed to know better than all of us what was right and the atmosphere here was not pleasant. Now she will have to follow their rules and she will realize that maybe it wasn't so bad here all along.

Anyway, our only huge concern are her exercises. When she got out of the car yesterday she was literally limping...already. That had been my main fight with her...those damn exercises! Now she was already limping and she had to practically hop onto the stoop to get in the house. One day and she was already deteriorating. She said she had done her exercises, but I am not sure she could have if she was walking like that. We aren't sure what to do...or if we should do nothing. Our big concern is that she is going to end up losing her job because her foot/ankle will hurt too much.

Our responsibilities aren't over with her, we know that, but it is nice to know that she is in a place that will help her move forward toward independence...to take over where we needed to leave off.