Musical Interests

My husband's family is VERY christian. At least in the sense of church-going. So, it is natural that Sharon has absorbed the intensity of that spiritual feeling.

I grew up Catholic. While it has its challenges, in my adulthood, I have found my way of being spiritual within my faith and have blocked out the icky bad stuff as my faith relates specifically to me. That said, being Catholic (for me) is not as intense as the feeling of spirituality as some who practice other forms of Christianity.

I still haven't decided if Sharon is truly as spiritual as she thinks she is. She is very suggestible. And because of this, I can't decide if she is intensely faithful or just mirrors the intensity that her mom reflected. I can tell you that in the seven months that Sharon has lived with us, she hasn't missed that we haven't been going to church, she hasn't opened her bible and she doesn't pray. Does that make her not Christian? Of course not, but it does strengthen the wonder of how much she truly understood about her faith and how much she believed because her mom did.

That brings me now to Christian music. I actually don't mind it. My husband introduced me to it when we met and I enjoyed watching the Gaither shows and listening to the occasional CD because he found enjoyment in it. Now that Sharon is with us, I don't find that enjoyment as much.

Why?

Honestly, it is because of this intensity that I don't enjoy it. When the Gaither music show comes on she gets emotional (not necessarily in a bad way) and all else around her ceases to exist (unless she is interrupted and then she starts clearing her throat (her signal that she is bothered) or tries to turn up the television volume...I don't think so!). And when she gets like this she forgets that it isn't her and mom in the living room..that there is another family in the same room who expects to be considered.

Listening to Christian music CDs is the same way. There is a sense of possession. She listened to "my Christian music and I felt like I right at home."

Maybe I am feeling insulted that she doesn't consider her home (our home) her home?

I know that some of this is me being petty. I realize that. I also realize that Sharon is trying to grasp onto things that are a comfort for her from her life with mom. But I also realize that when it comes to the things that she loves, she isn't realizing that she needs to have consideration and adapt. Especially in our small home. We only have one television to share and if she wants to listen to music, it needs to be at a time when our daughter isn't in the room trying to sleep (this, in general, she has been pretty great about).

I guess I just will never understand the feeling that some people associate with Christian music...and that is okay. But also know that we have to live in this one small house and, quite easily, some of these things can be irritating very quickly.

Yes, I know, my problem. But that is part of the reason I write this blog...because I need to put it out there. And I certainly don't mind comments and feedback that extend the conversation and aid in understanding and promote growth.

This was actually a hard post to write. Sorting feelings, finding fairness, tackling a religious topic in general. It is good to tackle what isn't so easy, but not so easy to complete the tackle.