Sharing a Room

We only have a two bedroom house. We had hopes of upgrading one of these days (years), but with bills and the economy. Well, I could come up with a few excuses. Whatever the excuse, it just hasn't happened yet. So, we are cramped into 900 square feet with no basement.

I know, there are plenty of people with smaller homes. Hurray for you if you love it, me, not so much. I grew up with seven people in a house that my dad (fortunately he is handy) kept expanding. That said, I shared a room until I was 19. Again, many people have shared rooms forever too...that's not the point. I was just SO GLAD to finally get my own room eventually.

Anyway, about Sharon. So, at the time that she decided (and we agreed) to come to us upon the death of mom, she knew there was a chance that we would still be in this house. Gosh, if only we had a crystal ball to get a better clue (or at least acknowledge reality) of when mom would pass. Okay, the reality check would have been "Hey, mom is in her 80s it could be any time!" But who wants that dose of reality? Want or need...you know which you should choose. We needed the dose of reality and I regret that we didn't kick it in. Timing sucked, but doesn't it generally?

Somehow I get all of my daughter's crap to fit into half the bedroom. Seriously, I didn't think I could do it, but I did. Now we have space for Sharon. But the unanticipated parts (again, start thinking of all the potential questions as soon as possible): 1) How much crap does Sharon have? 2) Does she possess the ability to be organized with her crap? Answers now. 1) She had tons of crap she didn't need to bring (I wasn't out there helping pack...how I wish I would have been!); and tons that she SHOULD have brought. 2) No, she doesn't seem to possess the ability to not only be organized, but to even figure out the best way to load her stuff into a dresser.

I had a full dresser for her available (5 drawers), plus two drawers from my daughter's dresser plus a 5 drawer lingerie dresser and space to hang in the closet. She filled ALL OF IT - and - she didn't have it all put away yet! CRAP - that can't be. Now, home from work and tired, I have to go through her stuff and figure out why it isn't fitting. Holy moly, unbelievable. I know she had been babied and I know she has a developmental disability, but COME ON! She could definitely have done better than this. I KNOW she possesses the skills to do better, but I (honestly) think she needed the attention more (I am sure mom told her where to put everything away before) and (honestly) was also feeling a little overwhelmed.

Six bibles were packed. Why? Do you read all of these bibles? No. Then why do you have them all with you? I don't know she (the other sister-in-law) said to bring them. Really? Where is the thought there? Um, are all these bras yours? No. Then whose are they? Some of them are mom's. Why did you bring them with you? I don't know I guess we just grabbed a bunch of stuff and put it in the box. Why did you put them in your dresser if you knew they weren't yours? I don't know.

I'm not sure I have the patience for this!

We got it all sorted out, but I really do not believe I had any potential of having these thoughts as questions in my head when we agreed to this. Skills, build the skills. Don't baby, make them do what they can. A pattern that is very obvious with Sharon...if she isn't sure of the answer (or doesn't want to take the time to figure it out) she hesitates or estimates and then stops because in the past others have provided the answer FOR HER or have done FOR HER. I won't do that. She has the capacity. I see it when she wants to do something. We are building independent living skills in her. Figuring out where to put things and folding clothes in a way so as to fit the space allotted is part of those skills.

How does that saying go? God grant me patience............