Processing Mom's Passing

I have to admit, I am still not sure how much of my mother-in-law's passing Sharon has truly processed.

She and my husband really do not talk about it much and I know that she hasn't really thought about any of the milestones (like Mom's birthday which was in March) and she didn't really seem impacted by the fact that Mom wasn't around for Christmas. It kind of boggles my mind.

Has she had moments of missing her and crying? Absolutely. I can think of two times. Two. And she said to me, "it's just hard, you know?"

And she certainly still focuses on how much Mom needed her toward the end and that she was "taking care of Mom" toward the end. She processes how the day went that she had to call 911 because Mom had a stroke and couldn't get out of bed. But I have to say that the story is starting to get mixed up now -- which is understandable.

So, I'm not sure what to really say about this. Does someone with developmental disabilities process death differently? Is the difference heightened by the fact that she is in a completely different location (midwest vs west coast)? Is it kind of like a child that sort of knows that the person has been there, but because the person isn't physically there, she isn't totally impacted by the person being gone in the long term? I mean, maybe Sharon is in a better circumstance than most who lose a loved one, maybe she has the capacity to get over loss much quicker than the rest of us (?)

It's an intriguing thought. I welcome your thoughts on this topic.